About this track:

Lost in my mess is a fantasy song drawing from one of the trashiest and chaotic times in my life. It’s a song that seems to exude bravado and swagger but between the lines betrays a struggle and longing for companionship. I wrote it at a time when I wasn’t really ready to accept who I was. In the music, I could be whoever I wanted, flamboyant, sexually charged and self assured. Enticing my love interest to join me in a world of decadence and short lived pleasures.


In reality I was insecure, lonely and yearning for escape. And I wanted someone to join me in that escape. The final line of the chorus, “come get lost in my mess” undermines all the alluring sexiness that is promised before. Revealing an awareness that maybe relief from reality (a cigarette when you’re high) isn’t the most attractive offering. The devil on the shoulder telling them to “give your soul a rest” is perhaps quite toxic. Though the song is no more self aware than than just that one word describing my offering as a “mess” The spirit of the song is celebrating the fantasy. But there is tension.


The lyrics were mostly all subconscious and it’s possible I cherry picked them from an improvised performance. Ultimately for me, It was a song of catharsis, an outlet for some challenging emotions. The original version was just a mystical music loop with a beat. I would get drunk in my studio, play it for 10 minutes while singing over it, listen back and repeat. To me, that kind of free self expression is the highest I ever feel.